So, I’m Still Here…

[looks at the last time I updated my website…coughs nervously]

I think in the future, people will look at the years of the pandemic as a really rough decade. It was a difficult time, but to quote Michael Caine, I “used the difficulty”.

Background: Actor Michael Caine was rehearsing a play early in his career. He was to enter a room where 2 people were arguing. But the two had gotten so into the characters one had thrown a chair and partially blocked the entrance. When he stopped rehearsal by mentioned to the director the chair was blocking him, he was told “Use the difficulty”

Michael: Well, what do you mean?
Director: If it’s a comedy, fall over it; if it’s a drama, pick it UP and SMASH it! Use the difficulty!

As a philosophy it’s not new. “If Life gives you Lemons, make Lemonade” or “In the midst of every crisis lies great opportunity.” Yet for how simple it is, it’s hard to put into practice. As we’ve also seen in history there are those who would loot a burning city, would seize power, would use a crisis for malevolent gain.

Yet I can see that for all that there are more people who are using the difficulty to make this world a better place. It’s hard because it depends on the person; they need to learn from their life experience, knowledge, and wisdom in combination with some situational awareness of available tools and resources, knowing when to fight, accept or adapt around change. 

Not everyone can do this, not everyone is strong enough to do it, and it’s not often you can do it all the time. In 10.000 years none of what we do will matter – be it you or me or Joe Biden or Taylor Swift or the Pope or Mick Jagger or Greta Thunberg or “someone’s 16 year old beer drunk brother brother with a whispy goatee and his whole life like a thundercloud right in front of him” (to crib from Hunter S. Thompson).

So, since 2022 I’d said goodbye to Co-op Cannabis, I’d taken the Sage Techworks course, passed it and the ISTQB exam to be a Certified Tester, Foundation Level (April-July 2022). I’d interviewed for and was placed in a paying internship with a Large Financial Organization. I was prepping myself, taking training, rearranging my life to go back to a Monday to Friday 9-5 type life. In that time, I’ve learned so much on the job, I’ve moved to a new apartment, and I am getting better at understanding and using the flow in life to succeed…or at least try to make my small corner of the world better.

I accept that the one constant in life is change. I’ve moved. Moved into a new career. The family home was finally sold. I’m now of the generation with no older parents, uncles or aunts. And I am afraid of death and nostalgic for the passage of time.

Yet…as I type this I’m listening to my favorite musician, the sun is streaming in from the window, and rainbows (from my window glass prism) dance across the wall. Diva is quietly napping, although just now she let out a tiny RAAWWRR to let me know she was there. There are times when you could suspend time and be in the moment. Unchanging and unchanged, your mind is freed from the chains of time. That would be like trying to catch a handful of rain in an outstretched hand. But would that not in a way be heaven – to exist in a moment of contentment?

Author: Evan

Writer. First Nations Status Indian (Michel band-Treaty 6). Anti-Nihilist. 2 Spirit. Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. Occasional sarcasm.