The Missing Menu – a new flash fiction available in either podcast format or in text format! This flash fiction covers the thoughts and musings of some…thing as it’s sitting down to a meal.
Posting this was my challenge – and finally, with the help of some Ultra Sour sativa and playing “Eye of the Tiger” on a loop, I got it online. Although the tenth repeat the bird got pissed and started squawking in protest.
Why the delay in posting new creative? Well…I’m working on other stuff offline, and my laptop was going senile. So June was a write off as I tried to work around it. Fortunately a friend who works at Best Buy suggested I switch my hard drive out for a solid-state drive. And whoa, boy! Behaves about the same, but faster on startup. Unfortunately, while they were able to preserve a lot of my files, my desktop and any apps I need to download (Firefox, Audacity, GIMP) had to be updated.
Which also caused some issues. Yet, I persevered! True, I had to sigh and quote Dorothy Parker “What fresh Hell is this?” but…I’m also going to look at the Library of Stories page and think about how I could better organize it…maybe a table of contents? We’ll see.
Ooooooooooooooohkay. So part of this delay for June…I tried going off my ADHD meds for about a week.
A time which will be known as SQUIRREL WEEK. Because I got really fuck all done. I mean, I was still doing stuff, but nothing focused and big. Then Audacity (the software I use for creating and editing my podcasts) decided it’s going senile. I’m not sure if it’s the software or worse yet (le sigh) if it’s a sign I need to do a re-install/refresh on my computer operating system.
Alternately, I could just start dumping a whole bunch of my saved ideas/ pictures/ jokes on my website (and social media) in the meantime. I’ve got a tonne of stuff, and considering the instability of social media at the moment. Advertisers and users are fleeing Facebook/ Twitter because these two (among other services) are enabling racists and morons to spread their cancerous messages. I’ll still use them as promotional channels, but this is my semi-annual reminder to me to use my website more.
Anyhow. Gonna figure out projects to work on, continue planning my week, etc. In the meantime, as Pride month closes out, and with BLM and protests still being relevant…here’s a very very gay version of that old Shirley Bassey favorite, Diamonds are Forever sung by Black and Gay British musician David McAlmont, arranged by British film composer David Arnold (whom I can’t confirm is gay, but he’s clearly hung around gay men at some point in his life from his acting in the video).
And as I’m about to post it, an idea comes to me….And I think I speak for all when I say WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO GET OUR [someone who is not a white straight male] SPY MOVIE?
Days 10-12 of the Alone Plague Journal are now up. How would you like it? A text version? The podcast on my Podcasts page? Maybe through Podbean? It’s your choice, but if you could either follow me here, on social media, or even better, donate to my Ko-fi account so I can continue to maintain my parrot in kibble and seeds, that’d be swell.
Besides that, I finally figured out the problem with a video version of one of my stories. I’m taking the audio from my stories and posting it into a PowerPoint presentation which I convert to video, so I can also post to YouTube; but it’s a bit slower. Yet, if you’ve not yet heard my one story “Seeds of Time” you can click on the hyperlinked title and watch it now on YouTube.
Hello. I’m aiming for multiple updates this week, but first off, The Washroom Preacher – a true life encounter with a weird situation – is available either on the Podcasts page or as a text version. As well, here’s the link to the song mentioned if you need to listen to it afterwards. This podcast is available on Podbean, iTunes or Google Play podcasts.
Dust is an amazing channel on YouTube – and this video almost feels like what the Matrix would feel like if it were filmed in 2020. Social media and desperation to be liked when it’s all revealed to be fake. And it’s starring Gigi Edgley (Chiana from “Farscape”).
Latest in the fictional serial journal of someone experiencing the COVID-19 pandemic in Calgary Alberta. The framing device is that this is from some kind of museum display 50 years in the future. Text version here or for audio, go to Podcasts (note, podcast also available on Podbean).
I also add some comments about the writing process…I’ve said it before, but sometimes perfectionism is the enemy of creativity. It’s a work in progress after all.
What else…oh, it’s Diva’s 16th birthday today. She’s getting all sorts of treats (nuts, seeds, fruit, veggies, birdie bread) and of course, lots of attention. And she’s being such a good girl. Look for yourself:
Karenpocalypse, or Dicks Demise is now online! So today I decided to list off the ways you can access this new original story about why you should be nice to essential workers like retail staff all the time: – Evankayne.com – either Library of Stories for the text, or Podcasts for the podcast – Podbean – here’s the link to this story specifically, and the link to my main Podbean site with other stories. Also, pay what you can to support me by visiting my Ko-fi account – it’s that green “buy me a coffee” button located on the side (desktop) or the bottom of the page (or you can click this link).
As for the whole “Karen” meme, first off I’m including “Dicks” whenever I discuss Karen behavior. Why? Well, “Dick” behavior was there first. By behavior, I mean the self-centered “it’s all about me and you making me happy” behavior some people exhibit towards people working in the service industry or arts (so, retail staff, doctors, nurses, artists, actors, restaurant staff, etc.).
The “Karens” and the “Dicks” of this world want what they want now. If they’re caught in a mistake, they never admit they were wrong. They’re always the victim of bad service. And they ALWAYS have bad service. When I worked at Shell, I arranged a celebratory dinner for 100+ people in our lunchroom. It was transformed into a dining hall with white tablecloths, silverware and china. The food was amazing from start to finish. And yet, a “Karen” whined that her dessert was a little dry, therefore her entire meal was ruined. She was quickly put in her place by some other coworkers and myself, but you got the impression that she didn’t change her opinion, she just learned in this situation and with these people, she should keep her thoughts to herself.
Look, sometimes you have to make a complaint. But treat the person to whom you unload like a friend or family member you respect. Ask for other solutions. Yes, if you’re not satisfied with the answer at one level, do not immediately “ask for a manager”. Try “you’ve been helpful, but can I see if the manager has any other solutions? That way you can get back to helping other people.”
If the answer is “No” accept that. You could try calling corporate or the owner, but try weighing the cost of your time versus how much this purchase or service cost you. Because I feel, and I’ve seen that essential workers have zero patience for dick behaviors and karen entitlements. When you ask “may I speak to a manager” you may get the answer of “No”. When you snipe “Well, I’ll never shop here again” you may get “Good, because you’re banned from this store.”
We’re all under a lot of stress. Be nice. Now and in the future.
Today I threw in three days. Also, on the podcast ONLY I have a short note on the writing and creation of this journal and how it has changed from when I first started writing this fictional journal. The Podcasts page has the links to the text (with – once again – bonus songs to play if you prefer to read rather than listen).