So, I’m Still Here…

[looks at the last time I updated my website…coughs nervously]

I think in the future, people will look at the years of the pandemic as a really rough decade. It was a difficult time, but to quote Michael Caine, I “used the difficulty”.

Background: Actor Michael Caine was rehearsing a play early in his career. He was to enter a room where 2 people were arguing. But the two had gotten so into the characters one had thrown a chair and partially blocked the entrance. When he stopped rehearsal by mentioned to the director the chair was blocking him, he was told “Use the difficulty”

Michael: Well, what do you mean?
Director: If it’s a comedy, fall over it; if it’s a drama, pick it UP and SMASH it! Use the difficulty!

As a philosophy it’s not new. “If Life gives you Lemons, make Lemonade” or “In the midst of every crisis lies great opportunity.” Yet for how simple it is, it’s hard to put into practice. As we’ve also seen in history there are those who would loot a burning city, would seize power, would use a crisis for malevolent gain.

Yet I can see that for all that there are more people who are using the difficulty to make this world a better place. It’s hard because it depends on the person; they need to learn from their life experience, knowledge, and wisdom in combination with some situational awareness of available tools and resources, knowing when to fight, accept or adapt around change. 

Not everyone can do this, not everyone is strong enough to do it, and it’s not often you can do it all the time. In 10.000 years none of what we do will matter – be it you or me or Joe Biden or Taylor Swift or the Pope or Mick Jagger or Greta Thunberg or “someone’s 16 year old beer drunk brother brother with a whispy goatee and his whole life like a thundercloud right in front of him” (to crib from Hunter S. Thompson).

So, since 2022 I’d said goodbye to Co-op Cannabis, I’d taken the Sage Techworks course, passed it and the ISTQB exam to be a Certified Tester, Foundation Level (April-July 2022). I’d interviewed for and was placed in a paying internship with a Large Financial Organization. I was prepping myself, taking training, rearranging my life to go back to a Monday to Friday 9-5 type life. In that time, I’ve learned so much on the job, I’ve moved to a new apartment, and I am getting better at understanding and using the flow in life to succeed…or at least try to make my small corner of the world better.

I accept that the one constant in life is change. I’ve moved. Moved into a new career. The family home was finally sold. I’m now of the generation with no older parents, uncles or aunts. And I am afraid of death and nostalgic for the passage of time.

Yet…as I type this I’m listening to my favorite musician, the sun is streaming in from the window, and rainbows (from my window glass prism) dance across the wall. Diva is quietly napping, although just now she let out a tiny RAAWWRR to let me know she was there. There are times when you could suspend time and be in the moment. Unchanging and unchanged, your mind is freed from the chains of time. That would be like trying to catch a handful of rain in an outstretched hand. But would that not in a way be heaven – to exist in a moment of contentment?

COVID-19, Writing, and Edits

April 2021 will always be the lost month, as I was hospitalized with double pneumonia due to being infected with the South African variant of COVID-19. I was hospitalized for 13 days at the Rockyview hospital here in Calgary. It gave me time to think about my priorities in life.

I will be doing more writing, pushing myself to find ways (grants/online work, other) to live as a writer, even though I may have to work part-time at other jobs.

There is a casualty to this – the whole “Alone Plague” journal I was writing (and then – nervous cough – abandoned) will be removed from my website and Podcast pages over the next few days. It seems…juvenile now. That’s not to say it won’t come back, but as the writer I’ve decided this needs to be removed for the time being. True, nothing’s ever gone from the Internet, and I don’t hate the work, it’s just been superseded by life.

NEW! Cannabis 101 “Potcast”

In conjunction with the Cannabis Education Company (CEC), I’ve launched a new podcast series devoted to information on Cannabis. Click HERE to go to this podcast where you’ll also find CEC social media links. Our website will soon be launched but in the meantime, feel free to comment on CEC social media sites, on my social media sites, or even on this post!

You can’t always get what you want…

First off, some music by the Rolling Stones to set the mood.

Today, even though it was smoky, I decided to walk to the East Village Superstore for some groceries and also to get some physical activity. In preparing for it, I contact two friends to see if either they want to go for a walk there and back, or if they are at home (one lives nearby).

Unfortunately, both were busy/unavailable. As I’m walking downtown, I remember I’m walking by ANOTHER friend, and call him. He’s not home. So I get to Superstore, and I see my neighbor shopping. We chat, he offers me a ride home, we get our groceries, chat further, and I get a lift home. Wasn’t necessarily looking for a ride, but strangely enough the company.

Now, whether or not you believe in magic or synchronicity, coincidence or the Power of Attraction…I wanted to talk to someone, didn’t necessarily want a ride, but after buying a few things…I needed a ride (lots of stuff was on sale). Or in other words…

…But if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need.

In the meantime…

Ooooooooooooooohkay. So part of this delay for June…I tried going off my ADHD meds for about a week.

A time which will be known as SQUIRREL WEEK. Because I got really fuck all done. I mean, I was still doing stuff, but nothing focused and big. Then Audacity (the software I use for creating and editing my podcasts) decided it’s going senile. I’m not sure if it’s the software or worse yet (le sigh) if it’s a sign I need to do a re-install/refresh on my computer operating system.

Alternately, I could just start dumping a whole bunch of my saved ideas/ pictures/ jokes on my website (and social media) in the meantime. I’ve got a tonne of stuff, and considering the instability of social media at the moment. Advertisers and users are fleeing Facebook/ Twitter because these two (among other services) are enabling racists and morons to spread their cancerous messages. I’ll still use them as promotional channels, but this is my semi-annual reminder to me to use my website more.

Anyhow. Gonna figure out projects to work on, continue planning my week, etc. In the meantime, as Pride month closes out, and with BLM and protests still being relevant…here’s a very very gay version of that old Shirley Bassey favorite, Diamonds are Forever sung by Black and Gay British musician David McAlmont, arranged by British film composer David Arnold (whom I can’t confirm is gay, but he’s clearly hung around gay men at some point in his life from his acting in the video).

And as I’m about to post it, an idea comes to me….And I think I speak for all when I say WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO GET OUR [someone who is not a white straight male] SPY MOVIE?

Random Thoughts on…

Random Thoughts on COVID-19 & Summer Activities – is now available via podcast or in text format.

You can also access it on Podbean, or through iTunes or Google Play podcasts. This was my thoughts on an NPR article about 14 Summer activities and the risk involved in the era of COVID-19.  

If you like my creations, come back to evankayne.com or my Podbean page on a regular basis, and support me on my Ko-fi account.

Another Flash Fiction and Podcast

Alrighty, I’ve posted another original flash fiction in the Library and read it so it’s also a podcast. I guess this makes it episode 4. I’m still learning….I’ve got the podcasts connected to Spotify, Google Play and I think iTunes. That last one is weird because on the Podbean end it’s showing some activity from Apple, but yet I can’t get it to load my feed when I do it through my Apple ID. Something to do with image size, but I may try again tomorrow.

Besides the flash fiction and podcast reading of it, here’s a bonus feature – last Friday (March 27) I had a bit of a panic attack, and forced myself to read a description from The Anti-Nihilist trope description page from the TVTropes website and offer my thoughts on it and Existentialism, given the current COVID-19 pandemic. I read it on Facebook Live because – as I live alone – I needed someone to make me accountable to work through this freakout. So while it’s on my Facebook, here’s the YouTube video. Watch for me saying “absurdity” and the bird agreeing with a “raawwr!”

Podcasts! Get Yer Podcasts!

Okay. So I finally managed to figure out posting for podcasts and the software. Go to the Podcasts tab to see the latest. If you like what you see, click the Ko-fi button or on this link and tip what you can. My plan is to post a podcast – be it a story, commentary, what not on a weekly basis.

For all those people talking about putting out a podcast: while you have mentioned the effort and time needed, not a single one of you at ATB sessions or Calgary Public Library seminars or on Lynda.com training or online mentioned the sh!tshow that is all the technical side. Audacity, RSS, Google Play, Audible, iTunes, Podbean etc….[reaches for aspirin]

Metaphorically speaking it was like this:
Me: How do I drive this car?
– Automobiles drive on roads. Roads are flat surfaces that can be made of asphalt, concrete, gravel or even dirt.
Me: Sure. But how do I drive  this car?
– Automobiles can come in 2 to as many as 18 wheels, and are powered by an internal combustion engine, except for those who use hybrid or electricity.
Me: How. Do. I. Drive. THIS. Car?!
– Automobiles can be in various shapes and sizes
Me: [screams in frustration]

Left Foot, Right Foot – original science fiction story

Okay, go to Library of Stories to see the latest “new” science fiction by me –  Left Foot, Right Foot. This is a new version of an older story I wrote ten years ago.  I’m still working to get people following and reading and even legit commenting (I’m tired of spam in my comments…spam, spam, spaaaaaam, horrid spaaaaaaaaaaaaam!).

Also working on messing around in Audacity, and experimenting with attaching recordings to PowerPoint presentations to make short videos I can post to Instagram. Speaking of, Instagram is pissing me off. They want you to only post on your cell phone. But I sometimes need to edit images/ create images on my computer.  You can view, follow and comment through a browser window, but you can’t add. They had a desktop app which allowed posting even if it was a little temperamental. And then lately that’s not allowed. [rolls eyes] At times, I find myself quoting  Spaceballs: 
“Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!”