Resume writing a new résumé

I recently trimmed a bunch of stories from the “Library of Stories” page as many of these are going into a collection of stories I am working on publishing. At that point, I’ll have to overhaul this site, but that will come in time.

I was kinda hoping that as a writer, I wouldn’t ever have to worry about writing another résumé but alas…I guess I’ll have to be a successful writer sheerly for the goal of never, ever having to write another résumé.

I’m also secretly amused that because we’re seeing the fall of Dumb Rome under Orange Caligula, writing may be the only way to live through the fall of civilization. Oh well.

Real life versus fiction: trauma recovery

AI image generation mashup of Lord of the Rings and the Simpsons, with Granpa Simpson as a Nazgul and Bart as Frodo

At the end (well, multiple ends, but I’ll let that one go) of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings epic, Frodo mentions he feels the pain of the wound on the anniversary of the attack, and he suffers from recurring weakness and shadows of fear tied to the traumatic events he endured. On one hand, I understand it was a way of framing PTSD and trauma recovery at a time when it was just called “shell-shock”.

But it always struck me – in my youth – as unrealistic. I’d think “oh, get over it already!”

And ever year around April since my 2021 visit to the hospital for COVID-19 complications (with free ICU tour!) I get a little…jumpy. I know a part of me was changed by those events. I am over it. I am. Yet there’s a little voice in my head that whispers:

Hey, remember fun times in ICU? 2 second breaths? Wow, we could have died! We were in the ICU! Death! DEATHDEATHDEATH. Maybe you’re dying in that ICU and all this is a final dream before dying.

Perhaps, like Frodo, we all have our scars from our own personal and invisible wars; we all carry map fragments of trauma. The difference? He had wizards. I have dark humor and surprisingly persistent lung capacity. Now if I could just stop the voice of Granpa Simpson saying “Deeeeath!” in my head for the rest of the day, that’d be swell.

The “Dark Matter” of Domesticity: A Paperclip Odyssey

I’m cleaning up and sorting through paperwork, allowing my brain to contemplate the digital revolution. Remember paper? That ancient forest-based communication method our ancestors used?

So, story time. Back in my Shell days, I worked with a team providing support to various teams. One individual… let’s call her a “procurement enthusiast.” She had, over the course of her time with the company, ordered paperclips like she was preparing for a global paperclip apocalypse. We’re talking a drawer so full of paperclips, it could’ve been a metallurgic museum exhibit dedicated to “Bureaucratic Hoarding: A Modern Study.”

Fast forward to today, I’m Marie Kondo minimalizing some papers. A comical cosmic theory I’d created years ago pops into my head. My theory? Dark matter isn’t some mysterious scientific concept. It’s the universe’s junk drawer.

As you may know, Dark matter is essentially a theoretical concept that scientists use to account for the mass that appears to be missing from the universe. I’m simplifying the concept of course, yet I thought, “I wonder if Dark matter is basically the intergalactic equivalent of storage spaces we have in our homes for…stuff.” You know, that storage closet, plastic bin or junk drawer in your kitchen filled with:

  • Orphaned paperclips
  • Clothes hangers
  • Charger cables for existing and long obsolete technology
  • Tupperware without lids (or lids without Tupperware)
  • Hair ties, safety pins, bobby pins, and spare change.

The universe, my friends, is just one giant, disorganized cosmic closet. And as long as no celestial Marie Kondo shows up for a universal spring cleaning, dark matter stays.

New study suggesting people with ADHD have shorter lifespans

https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/adhd-deaths-1.7442958
Since Facebook has blocked Canadian news and also FUCK THEM, I thought, “Let’s experiment with linking to news on my site, then linking to Facebook”. Anyhow, interesting article, relevant to my interests, and I will add (not seriously) the reason people with ADHD die sooner is that everyone else is running at 33RPM, we just run at 45RPM.

So, I’m Still Here…

[looks at the last time I updated my website…coughs nervously]

I think in the future, people will look at the years of the pandemic as a really rough decade. It was a difficult time, but to quote Michael Caine, I “used the difficulty”.

Background: Actor Michael Caine was rehearsing a play early in his career. He was to enter a room where 2 people were arguing. But the two had gotten so into the characters one had thrown a chair and partially blocked the entrance. When he stopped rehearsal by mentioned to the director the chair was blocking him, he was told “Use the difficulty”

Michael: Well, what do you mean?
Director: If it’s a comedy, fall over it; if it’s a drama, pick it UP and SMASH it! Use the difficulty!

As a philosophy it’s not new. “If Life gives you Lemons, make Lemonade” or “In the midst of every crisis lies great opportunity.” Yet for how simple it is, it’s hard to put into practice. As we’ve also seen in history there are those who would loot a burning city, would seize power, would use a crisis for malevolent gain.

Yet I can see that for all that there are more people who are using the difficulty to make this world a better place. It’s hard because it depends on the person; they need to learn from their life experience, knowledge, and wisdom in combination with some situational awareness of available tools and resources, knowing when to fight, accept or adapt around change. 

Not everyone can do this, not everyone is strong enough to do it, and it’s not often you can do it all the time. In 10.000 years none of what we do will matter – be it you or me or Joe Biden or Taylor Swift or the Pope or Mick Jagger or Greta Thunberg or “someone’s 16 year old beer drunk brother brother with a whispy goatee and his whole life like a thundercloud right in front of him” (to crib from Hunter S. Thompson).

So, since 2022 I’d said goodbye to Co-op Cannabis, I’d taken the Sage Techworks course, passed it and the ISTQB exam to be a Certified Tester, Foundation Level (April-July 2022). I’d interviewed for and was placed in a paying internship with a Large Financial Organization. I was prepping myself, taking training, rearranging my life to go back to a Monday to Friday 9-5 type life. In that time, I’ve learned so much on the job, I’ve moved to a new apartment, and I am getting better at understanding and using the flow in life to succeed…or at least try to make my small corner of the world better.

I accept that the one constant in life is change. I’ve moved. Moved into a new career. The family home was finally sold. I’m now of the generation with no older parents, uncles or aunts. And I am afraid of death and nostalgic for the passage of time.

Yet…as I type this I’m listening to my favorite musician, the sun is streaming in from the window, and rainbows (from my window glass prism) dance across the wall. Diva is quietly napping, although just now she let out a tiny RAAWWRR to let me know she was there. There are times when you could suspend time and be in the moment. Unchanging and unchanged, your mind is freed from the chains of time. That would be like trying to catch a handful of rain in an outstretched hand. But would that not in a way be heaven – to exist in a moment of contentment?

COVID-19, Writing, and Edits

April 2021 will always be the lost month, as I was hospitalized with double pneumonia due to being infected with the South African variant of COVID-19. I was hospitalized for 13 days at the Rockyview hospital here in Calgary. It gave me time to think about my priorities in life.

I will be doing more writing, pushing myself to find ways (grants/online work, other) to live as a writer, even though I may have to work part-time at other jobs.

There is a casualty to this – the whole “Alone Plague” journal I was writing (and then – nervous cough – abandoned) will be removed from my website and Podcast pages over the next few days. It seems…juvenile now. That’s not to say it won’t come back, but as the writer I’ve decided this needs to be removed for the time being. True, nothing’s ever gone from the Internet, and I don’t hate the work, it’s just been superseded by life.

NEW! Cannabis 101 “Potcast”

In conjunction with the Cannabis Education Company (CEC), I’ve launched a new podcast series devoted to information on Cannabis. Click HERE to go to this podcast where you’ll also find CEC social media links. Our website will soon be launched but in the meantime, feel free to comment on CEC social media sites, on my social media sites, or even on this post!

You can’t always get what you want…

First off, some music by the Rolling Stones to set the mood.

Today, even though it was smoky, I decided to walk to the East Village Superstore for some groceries and also to get some physical activity. In preparing for it, I contact two friends to see if either they want to go for a walk there and back, or if they are at home (one lives nearby).

Unfortunately, both were busy/unavailable. As I’m walking downtown, I remember I’m walking by ANOTHER friend, and call him. He’s not home. So I get to Superstore, and I see my neighbor shopping. We chat, he offers me a ride home, we get our groceries, chat further, and I get a lift home. Wasn’t necessarily looking for a ride, but strangely enough the company.

Now, whether or not you believe in magic or synchronicity, coincidence or the Power of Attraction…I wanted to talk to someone, didn’t necessarily want a ride, but after buying a few things…I needed a ride (lots of stuff was on sale). Or in other words…

…But if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need.

In the meantime…

Ooooooooooooooohkay. So part of this delay for June…I tried going off my ADHD meds for about a week.

A time which will be known as SQUIRREL WEEK. Because I got really fuck all done. I mean, I was still doing stuff, but nothing focused and big. Then Audacity (the software I use for creating and editing my podcasts) decided it’s going senile. I’m not sure if it’s the software or worse yet (le sigh) if it’s a sign I need to do a re-install/refresh on my computer operating system.

Alternately, I could just start dumping a whole bunch of my saved ideas/ pictures/ jokes on my website (and social media) in the meantime. I’ve got a tonne of stuff, and considering the instability of social media at the moment. Advertisers and users are fleeing Facebook/ Twitter because these two (among other services) are enabling racists and morons to spread their cancerous messages. I’ll still use them as promotional channels, but this is my semi-annual reminder to me to use my website more.

Anyhow. Gonna figure out projects to work on, continue planning my week, etc. In the meantime, as Pride month closes out, and with BLM and protests still being relevant…here’s a very very gay version of that old Shirley Bassey favorite, Diamonds are Forever sung by Black and Gay British musician David McAlmont, arranged by British film composer David Arnold (whom I can’t confirm is gay, but he’s clearly hung around gay men at some point in his life from his acting in the video).

And as I’m about to post it, an idea comes to me….And I think I speak for all when I say WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO GET OUR [someone who is not a white straight male] SPY MOVIE?

Random Thoughts on…

Random Thoughts on COVID-19 & Summer Activities – is now available via podcast or in text format.

You can also access it on Podbean, or through iTunes or Google Play podcasts. This was my thoughts on an NPR article about 14 Summer activities and the risk involved in the era of COVID-19.  

If you like my creations, come back to evankayne.com or my Podbean page on a regular basis, and support me on my Ko-fi account.