Hello. I’m aiming for multiple updates this week, but first off, The Washroom Preacher – a true life encounter with a weird situation – is available either on the Podcasts page or as a text version. As well, here’s the link to the song mentioned if you need to listen to it afterwards.
This podcast is available on Podbean, iTunes or Google Play podcasts.
Category: Stories
Karenpocalypse – new fiction
Karenpocalypse, or Dicks Demise is now online! So today I decided to list off the ways you can access this new original story about why you should be nice to essential workers like retail staff all the time:
– Evankayne.com – either Library of Stories for the text, or Podcasts for the podcast
– Podbean – here’s the link to this story specifically, and the link to my main Podbean site with other stories.
Also, pay what you can to support me by visiting my Ko-fi account – it’s that green “buy me a coffee” button located on the side (desktop) or the bottom of the page (or you can click this link).
As for the whole “Karen” meme, first off I’m including “Dicks” whenever I discuss Karen behavior. Why? Well, “Dick” behavior was there first. By behavior, I mean the self-centered “it’s all about me and you making me happy” behavior some people exhibit towards people working in the service industry or arts (so, retail staff, doctors, nurses, artists, actors, restaurant staff, etc.).
The “Karens” and the “Dicks” of this world want what they want now. If they’re caught in a mistake, they never admit they were wrong. They’re always the victim of bad service. And they ALWAYS have bad service. When I worked at Shell, I arranged a celebratory dinner for 100+ people in our lunchroom. It was transformed into a dining hall with white tablecloths, silverware and china. The food was amazing from start to finish. And yet, a “Karen” whined that her dessert was a little dry, therefore her entire meal was ruined. She was quickly put in her place by some other coworkers and myself, but you got the impression that she didn’t change her opinion, she just learned in this situation and with these people, she should keep her thoughts to herself.
Look, sometimes you have to make a complaint. But treat the person to whom you unload like a friend or family member you respect. Ask for other solutions. Yes, if you’re not satisfied with the answer at one level, do not immediately “ask for a manager”. Try “you’ve been helpful, but can I see if the manager has any other solutions? That way you can get back to helping other people.”
If the answer is “No” accept that. You could try calling corporate or the owner, but try weighing the cost of your time versus how much this purchase or service cost you. Because I feel, and I’ve seen that essential workers have zero patience for dick behaviors and karen entitlements. When you ask “may I speak to a manager” you may get the answer of “No”. When you snipe “Well, I’ll never shop here again” you may get “Good, because you’re banned from this store.”
We’re all under a lot of stress. Be nice. Now and in the future.
Sorcerer’s Balance Sheet – new fantasy flash fiction
Today’s flash fiction has a fantasy flavour – The Sorcerer’s Balance Sheet – is available in podcast and in text format.
Story size differences were explained to me as such: a novel is a house with a yard, furniture and occupants; a short story is the description of the activity and items in one of the rooms; and a flash fiction is walking past that room and glancing in as you go past. Today, we’re looking into a magical professor’s office.
New Flash fiction story & podcast!
A new flash fiction – Resetting, Again – is now available in the Library of Stories, and in audio format on my Podcast page.
In popular science fiction, any time they have problems with the technology which allows the crew to travel vast interstellar distances in the blink of an eye, it’s usually fixed by the end of the episode. Yet, I’ve a feeling when things go wrong in space, they’ll go wrong in ways we can’t fathom. If you like my creations, come back to EvanKayne.com or my Podbean page on a regular basis, and support me on my Ko-fi account.
This week’s podcast – Left Foot, Right Foot
Alrighty – a new podcast in our lovely Podcasts section: Left Foot, Right Foot. I read off a story I’ve previously posted in the Library of Stories which gives a look at the solution to crash landing on an alien world if you’ve got powered armour. Hint – it involves a lot of walking, and madness.
I was going to post another story I wrote over the weekend inspired by grocery shopping in the time of the plague, but I realized that it needs a few weeks to ripen. True, all my stories are “works in progress” but sometimes I need to put something new out of my mind for a few weeks while my brain gets some needed distance.
As ever, if you like what you see, follow me here, on social media (today linking to my Twitter) or on Podbean…but I’d really appreciate it if you tipped me by pressing on the Green “Buy me a coffee” button to go to my Ko-fi account and donate what you can.
Tomorrow, between taking the next chapter on my Gale SEO course, I will also (spoiler) post Day 3 and 4 of the Alone Plague Journal.
A Kind Nightmare – new speculative fiction!
Hello and Happy 4-20. I’ve a new speculative fiction that I’ve also read off as a podcast. Go to Library of Stories for the text, and Podcasts for the story A Kind Nightmare. It’s also available on Podbean, Google Play, iTunes, and Spotify. Reach out to me here, on social media, or Podbean if you have any comments. Remember, most of the work I post here is original, but I still consider everything a work in progress. Also…I may have an additional posting tomorrow on a project I’ve been working on over the last few weeks.
Another Flash Fiction and Podcast
Alrighty, I’ve posted another original flash fiction in the Library and read it so it’s also a podcast. I guess this makes it episode 4. I’m still learning….I’ve got the podcasts connected to Spotify, Google Play and I think iTunes. That last one is weird because on the Podbean end it’s showing some activity from Apple, but yet I can’t get it to load my feed when I do it through my Apple ID. Something to do with image size, but I may try again tomorrow.
Besides the flash fiction and podcast reading of it, here’s a bonus feature – last Friday (March 27) I had a bit of a panic attack, and forced myself to read a description from The Anti-Nihilist trope description page from the TVTropes website and offer my thoughts on it and Existentialism, given the current COVID-19 pandemic. I read it on Facebook Live because – as I live alone – I needed someone to make me accountable to work through this freakout. So while it’s on my Facebook, here’s the YouTube video. Watch for me saying “absurdity” and the bird agreeing with a “raawwr!”
Podcasts! Get Yer Podcasts!
Okay. So I finally managed to figure out posting for podcasts and the software. Go to the Podcasts tab to see the latest. If you like what you see, click the Ko-fi button or on this link and tip what you can. My plan is to post a podcast – be it a story, commentary, what not on a weekly basis.
For all those people talking about putting out a podcast: while you have mentioned the effort and time needed, not a single one of you at ATB sessions or Calgary Public Library seminars or on Lynda.com training or online mentioned the sh!tshow that is all the technical side. Audacity, RSS, Google Play, Audible, iTunes, Podbean etc….[reaches for aspirin]
Metaphorically speaking it was like this:
Me: How do I drive this car?
– Automobiles drive on roads. Roads are flat surfaces that can be made of asphalt, concrete, gravel or even dirt.
Me: Sure. But how do I drive this car?
– Automobiles can come in 2 to as many as 18 wheels, and are powered by an internal combustion engine, except for those who use hybrid or electricity.
Me: How. Do. I. Drive. THIS. Car?!
– Automobiles can be in various shapes and sizes
Me: [screams in frustration]
Left Foot, Right Foot – original science fiction story
Okay, go to Library of Stories to see the latest “new” science fiction by me – Left Foot, Right Foot. This is a new version of an older story I wrote ten years ago. I’m still working to get people following and reading and even legit commenting (I’m tired of spam in my comments…spam, spam, spaaaaaam, horrid spaaaaaaaaaaaaam!).
Also working on messing around in Audacity, and experimenting with attaching recordings to PowerPoint presentations to make short videos I can post to Instagram. Speaking of, Instagram is pissing me off. They want you to only post on your cell phone. But I sometimes need to edit images/ create images on my computer. You can view, follow and comment through a browser window, but you can’t add. They had a desktop app which allowed posting even if it was a little temperamental. And then lately that’s not allowed. [rolls eyes] At times, I find myself quoting Spaceballs:
“Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!”
The Now, and a Story of What Could Happen
“I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now” – Edna Mode
I’ve got for you a new speculative fiction along with some random thoughts below. But first, the story: Corporate Bliss – a Story Told in Emails. It’s about capitalism, life, and depression all through email conversations in an office setting. Comments welcome here or on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram…
And I’m not depressed, but Winter always makes me reflective. I wanted to post some memories my mother has shared with me. I then thought, “What about me? Who will I share my memories with?” I then thought of other LGBTQ2SA folk with no kids. Or of couples who were childless. Or even single people. Who sings their stories after they are gone?
“Who cares” but as time goes on, and the world changes, often it’s the slice of life that give colour to the past. Telling you I remember being a teenager and on a bus with school mates singing along to The Pointer Sisters “Jump” and you can say “So what?”
Yet. Point out that at the time, I was still dealing with my sexuality. I had been bullied in elementary. I was mostly ignored in Junior High, but wasn’t part of the “In” crowd. In high school, playing football suddenly made me part of the “In” crowd because I was a jock. And it was….an education in tribalism, and why it was and still is, an utter load of bullshit. Hating someone because he/she/they are not part of your religion, your family, your nationality, they don’t like sports, they look different, etc. etc.
So, with that as context, when I say it was a bus of football players in gear, singing and jumping to that song “Jump” after coming home from a football game, the colour in this slice of the past is bright, as it was a happy moment for me – I felt I was part of something, part of a crowd, a team. Yet it’s a memory tinged with sadness as I remember feeling lonely because it was also a lie: I made sure never to let my eyes linger on another guy while in the change room, knowing I was different even while on the outside I appeared to be one of the crowd.